Everytime somebody asks me, which of my horses I love the most, I always answer: I love them all the same. I never really understood how you could have one favorite horse when you own more than one. Until Civa and I moved to Denmark and she and I spent much more time together than we used to. Until she was my only horse in the stable.
When I bought her in December 2016 I never thought that she would mean this much to me. We didn’t get along that well in the beginning – I liked to ride her, although I found it a bit difficult, but I didn’t really like her character. I hoped that we would grow together but after three months I didn’t see one change. She was keeping me distant, sometimes ignoring me – the total opposite of my other horses, who where happy to see me. She never wanted to cuddle – which isn’t terrible but by cuddle I mean she didn’t want me to touch her unless necessary – and I was actually thinking about giving her back since I didn’t feel a single spark of connection between us. This might sound weird, since I bought her. Why would you buy a horse you don’t feel a connection with? Well, to be honest, I wanted a horse to go on competitions with and she was „the first one“ and I was quite desperate at that time and my decision of buying her was driven by the wrong motivation, I was so focused on buying a sport horse, the character was secondary. I also thought that we would get along over time and that our relationship would grow. In the end I was right, but at first it didn’t seem so.
After a few more months of trying, changing trainer and doing some mistakes, we started to get to know each other a bit more and I found her awkward, yet wonderful in her own way. When I got her she used to bite while saddling up, she was always a bit grumpy and therefor one of her many nicknames in our stable was „Grumpy Cat“ (for those of you who don’t know: Grumpy Cat is an evil looking cat gone viral through memes etc.). Nowadays things have changed and I don’t know how it happened. When I come into the stable she starts to whinny, when I call her while she is out on the field or on the paddock she comes walking towards me, she is kind and forgiving when it comes to me making mistakes while riding and she suddenly wants to cuddle. She seems to be a total different horse and has opened up so much.
I still feel bad for saying that I love one of my horses more – but honestly I found out that she is my favorite one. Of course I love the other four a lot and am thankful for everything, but yet there is this special connection between Civa and I that was built up slowly, almost unnoticed. It took us both a while to respect, accept and like each other. When I used to go on holidays I of course missed my horses, but I was also quite happy to have a break and not think or worry about anything and that I could just relax. Although I wanted a horse to go to competitions with, the sport has now become secondary for me. Civa made me so passionate about everything that includes her and our time together, that actually everything is fun. Things I sometimes found a bit annoying but did them anyways because they were necessary are now something I’ll happily do (like clipping her or cleaning my tack). When I’m away I miss her like crazy, deep down from my heart. She rewards this with cuddling, whinnying, always being motivated, standing still while tacking her up, …long story short: by being an incredible positive horse. She is the best „mistake“ I ever made and the proof that everything that is meant to happen will happen. Maybe we didn’t meet at the right time or because of the right reasons – but all that counts is that we met and are now a team and friends, at all occasions.